Evaluating Listening Skills & Nonverbal Behaviour (Blog Post #2) [Revised]

There is the time that when we interact with people, we unconsciously act upon our emotions or display non-verbal behaviours that we are not aware of. Arguments occasionally happen in our lives, which is not any different for me at home. Through my own experience, I felt that my father lacks in good listening skills when having a conversation. I feel that this could be one of the reasons to those occasional arguments between my parents.

One of such occasions which I observed was an argument between my parents. A minor misunderstanding could lead to a verbal argument. I noticed that my father did not maintain an eye contact with my mother when she is trying to give an explanation. This caused my mother to be frustrated and therefore created tension between my parents due to lack of attention from my father. My mother assumed that my father was just passively listening to her explanation. My mother's assumptions were further proven when my father could not answer a question relating to the unresolved issue.

Apart from that, I observed that my father would frequently interrupt my mother whenever a discussion takes place. I believed my father created a communication barrier which further prevented my mother from expressing her thoughts. Not only that he would disregard her opinion, but also brought up matters from the past which results in a sour relationship and communication.   These one-sided conversations occur whenever my parents trying to make a mutual decision or when both being defensive among themselves.

In my opinion, age is also a factor to communications. As my father is in his mid-fifties, I believe that he would prefer a brief conversation than lengthy ones due to his short attention span. While my mother is in her mid-fortifies, age gap difference may be a factor to a barrier communication between both of my parents. My mother shows a better engagement while conversing and have significant influence as a good listener. Hence, age gap difference will bring a difference in term of deciding to a mutual understanding or an agreement. In addition to this, I evaluate that culture is also an affecting factor. In this context, having such short conversations is a norm in marriage culture. Perhaps it is due to the years that they have been together and I believe my parents are expected to understand each other. But alas, sometimes we all demand a certain level of attention depending on the topics and depth of the conversation. Another factor that plays a part is gender influence in listening skills and nonverbal behaviour. For example, females are more accurate decoders of most nonverbal cues. The overall superiority of females as decoders has been found in many different cultures. Females also tend to be more accurate encoders of emotional cues than males. Females are more non-verbally expressive; for example, my mother showed a direct gaze, touch, direct body orientation, facial expressiveness, nods and vocal cues whenever she disagrees or disapproved. As men and women were often described as Mars vs Venus, their brains and thoughts processing are different. Men and women respond to a problem differently. Men tend to respond to problems with a solution while women tend to desire a sympathetic response to their troubles.

In conclusion, I learned the importance of acquiring good listening skills by implying emotional intelligence. Thus, this has helped me to be a good listener and  I can prevent mistakes when engaging a conversation with others.